As I have worked much of my professional career in roles either training or counseling individuals and/or groups I have learned that it is the small daily wins that win the race and not so much the untrained sprints that leave you feeling sore and quitting.  Let me explain to you what I mean.  Success starts with self-mastery which is a myriad of different daily actions that you take that cause positive movement forward to a desired goal.  However, what we often don’t take in account is the various external forces meant to distract you from success.  That’s the hard part. Defeating that demon and being the phoenix and that rises through the ashes.  So, how do you rise when everything is burning down? Let’s first define what is a phoenix.  A phoenix is a creature that uses the knowledge and experience of challenging times to rise above those experiences to become a reflection of hope.  Who doesn’t want to be the ripple effect of change in there family or community?

So, how do you get there?  How do you become a phoenix?  For the next 30 days I am going to get into the trenches with you and show how to start mastering yourself to become a phoenix.  For at least 10 minutes a day for the next 30 days we are going to learn a new skill/habit together, how to master that skill/habit in the midst of daily distractions, and become disciplined. 

​First, I want you to imagine that it is just me and you’re for the next 30 days in a 1 on 1 session.  Your direct access to a coach who sees your potential and willing to do the work with you to get you to the finish line.  Think about the various goals that you have wanted to accomplish the last few months or years.  Think of the goal that would mean the most to you because it would take pressure off other areas of your life or just make you feel good about yourself.   Write down what goal you want to accomplish in the next 30 days.  Then think about, what tools and resources do you have or need to accomplish the goal?  If you can get those tools and resources, you have identified your goal.  If you can’t, choose a goal that you have the tools and resources for.  Now write down what you know or your current abilities with the goal you want to accomplish.  The purpose behind this is because after the 30 days I will have you write down what you know now or what abilities do you have now because you spent 30 days working on this goal.  Below is my response to what’s my goal and my current abilities with my goal.  Share you goal in the comments and I will see you tomorrow for Day 1 of self-mastery!

Skill/Goal: Complete a training certification for work.
What do you know or what are your current abilities with the skill you want to learn? I am pretty knowledgeable on the topic but the tools I am learning are new and will up level my current skill set and value in the workplace.

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My parents' front porch was set up perfectly, with two white chairs and a coffee table all ready for a high school guy friend to come over and get advice on his girl problems. I had no idea then that my purpose was right there in those two chairs and the over-dramatized conversation between teenagers. It wasn't until 2011 that I would realize my purpose and start the path to becoming a counselor. As my dream started to come to fruition, I realized that we all have these tiny little moments guiding us to our purpose, and if we pay close enough attention, we will realize that we have known it all along. It was in that moment I knew my life's purpose was to help people heal so they can find their life purpose and reach their full potential.
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Just as much as we have little moments that align us with our purpose, we also have moments that deter us from our purpose. My purpose was put into question in the middle of my divorce. I had failed at the job that I had prayed so hard for from their perspective. So many people threw it in my face like I had lost my purpose, like what they said about my situation was the truth of life. However, the same place they said I failed because I didn't know enough renewed my contract and wanted me back the next year. While in the midst of questioning my relationship and who was in my corner, I took myself through this exercise using a modified version of a Think and Grow Rich principle, so I want to take you through it as well because if I had listened to the external forces telling me who I am and what I would be after my divorce, I wouldn't still be living my purpose.

The exercise I am going to walk you through helped me to heal and start to fully understand who I am and my purpose. If you are looking for a traditional healing exercise experience, then you can stop reading now. If you want something unique and adds value to your life, then keep reading.

Step 1: I want you to turn on your favorite song that puts you in a good mood.
Step 2: While you listen to the songs, I want you to write down one negative thing a person has said to you about your goals (No need to dwell on all of it because it's not that important what they said. The next part is).
Step 3: Then I want you to cross it out and write down five positive things you believe about yourself and your goals. Step 4: Lastly, I want you to fully enjoy the moment whether that means dance like no one's watching or singing at the top of your lungs.  Enjoy truth that no one's words about you and your goals matter. Only what you say about yourself and your goals matter.

In the words of Beyonce in 'Survivor,' there's no need to say anything negative about those not in your corner. It's not about them and what they said. It's about healing, finding your internal locus of control that allows you to heal, move on, and focus on your goals. So, I send you my song 'Fight Song' by Rachel Platten, and I declare to make today your fight song and take back your life song and prove that you're alright. Turn up your power. Be strong and know that even if no one else believes, know that you still have a lot of fights left in you (hugs).

Words of Affirmation for the Week: I am made for greatness. I am going to accomplish every goal that I desire.